As I lay contemplating all of life, feeling strange because someone I never met has blocked me on facecrack, feeling low because I feel like I can't be there for one of my closest friends during her time of heartache as I feel I "should" be available. Then I see a video, of an indigenous woman asking for help for the rain forest. Then, I feel it, then I really feel the true deep sorrow. Once I let go of all of the distractions that have kept my mind spending silly moments feeling "off" over somewhat meaningless things then I feel it. Then, I feel the real pain, the hurt that truly shakes me at my core. I start to feel like I was just spending time stewing in these thoughts so that I could not focus on what really is in need of deep healing. I type this with a welling in my throat, tears down my cheeks and a sorrow in my heart that grieves right now for all the dying animals, and plants. The stewards of the land watching precious rain forest be burned away. I realize this where that feeling of something being wrong in my heart and mind is stemming from. I am so tired of living a privileged white life where I can have privileged problems like wondering why I got blocked on FB. In the grand scheme of things what the fuck matters what is going on in FB? There is precious land being burned away. It is being burned away not because of some act of Divine Intervention and the Earth cleansing and clearing itself, but because of greedy man. More land to raise cattle on. Man made fires for personal profit are burning away the precious Amazon. Oh, and might I mention the ICE camps aren't getting any better. In fact it is getting worse. Right now we have a fire problem and an ICE problem on our hands. My heart and soul are crying, feeling so much sorrow, so much grief. Such a deep desire to help is present. I want more conversations, on what we can do to help the Earth. I want to engage more with people actively doing something for the betterment of Earth. I also understand that we all have our own path to walk. We are all on different cycles of Earths evolution. For some it is important to go within and tend mostly to the Self. I get that, I have been there, do that. Make yourself strong so that when the time is right you can fully give to the health and well being of your mother Earth and father Sky once more. Just don't get lost on the journey and forget about the soil that houses you and the air that gives you life. Okay, so now that I have expressed that, I will go ahead and make a measly donation to a non profit, and keep praying that the Amazon begins to receive a steady gentle rain. I ask of you, let go of the chatter of the mind that is distracting you from what your soul and heart are wanting you to listen to and understand. Let go of nonsense that keeps you distracted from your true purpose and highest calling. Still the body, quiet the mind, listen and really feel deeply within. Let true healing tears roll down your cheeks as needed. Allow yourself to truly feel, feel the full spectrum of emotion. You are making a difference in the web of life with every thought and every word spoken. Be wise in your creation of life.
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